GOD AND RELATIONSHIPS

1 Corinthians 7:9 "But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" What does this passage mean in the bible?  There is a saying that i made up a long time ago so if you quote it then you better give me credit! lol Ok goes like this "Women are God's greatest creation and the devil's greatest temptation" The bible teaches us that there isn't anything new under the sun that hasn't been done before. Everything that we are going through today including relationships, people have went through in the past. Since for ever there have been marriage,betrayal,adultery, fornication, brother against brother etc... Men back in b.c and a.d have struggled with the temptation of a woman same as the modern man does now. Vice versa. Great men of our yester years had dozens of wives and hundreds of concubine's. We thought we knew how to live it up!!  My point is we have been struggling with lustful desires since we were created. The KEY WORD is self control!! Some of us have it some of us don't. Some of us have more then others do. If your one of those people that have a high sex drive and very little control then that passage in the bible was for you as well as it was for me!!!

The passage is saying if your one of those who can't control your lust then instead of going out there having random casual sex, its best that you find a husband or wife. That way you can fulfill  your passion and it will be smiled down upon by God. Did you know that when a husband and wife make love its a form of worship to God? God created sex! It has  been perverted by principalities of evil. It was never meant to be be nasty or perverted, but a beautiful act of worship to God and to beautify the earth with children!

SO.....God and relationships!!!!
Here is the thing. The world we live in is a wicked place. Filled with principalities of evil and wicked men! The world is lucifer's! It says so in the bible. So generally speaking if you fit right in with the world you fit right in with the devil. Having a relationship with someone who fits perfectly into the world can lead to problems. The bible says you can not be un equally yoked. Meaning you can't be this saved God fearing man or woman and your  spouse is a heathen!! There will  be conflict and it will be hard for God to bless that union. Now you can pray that your spouse gets turned around and follow God and sometimes they do! However going into a new relationship knowing someone isn't into God like you are or someone who doesn't even believe is not wise!

The thing about keeping God first in our lives and relationships, is we have some kind of accountability. We have moral standards. Rules so to speak to go by. A guide in how to live your life and conduct yourself in the world. Following this guide and believing in what it contains, makes us Christians. What does it contain? well hopefully some of you already know and have read the bible. If not, no chance like the present to read the word. In a nut shell, live a good life. Be good be kind be loyal. Live right, always try to do the right thing, love thy neighbor! Wow what horrible things right....lol It's basically telling you to be a good person! So if you find someone who reads the GUIDE and TRIES very hard to follow it then that means they are practicing being a good person! They are prone to have more morals and values and someone to hold them accountable for their actions. They are someone who knows and understands consequence.

NOW......
Let's take worldly people. How do they measure up in relationships? Now when i say worldly people i mean people who are saturated in the world. Not just non believers but  believers who know God but are just not living by his word. Who are not reading the GUIDE. These people, and yes for a long time I WAS one of thees people, have no accountability. What guide do they have to live by? None I mean sure they know right and wrong as it pertains to the laws on this world. But they do not know morally, or choose not to apply what they do know to be the right moral thing to do as it pertains to God. They are less likely to care if they cheat and sleep around, or if they lie to you and play you with multiple partners. They have no conviction for their sins! Marriage is not sacred or holy to them. If they do marry, their marriage is not blessed because the foundation is not God. Spouses are more likely to cheat, or not take in the seriousness of marriage.

So i ask YOU.... if your in that place where your ready to settle down. Ready for a serious committed relationship leading to marriage in the future, which partner would you feel more comfortable putting your heart on the line for? The God fearing partner who tries their best to live by the Guide and follow the rules which encouraged kindness loyalty and love, or the partner who doesn't hold themselves to those rules and has no convictions for their wrong doings? I'll take partner A for a thousand please!!! I'm just saying if your trying to settle with a real good guy or girl your  chances of finding one are better if they have God in there live and are actively trying to live by his word as opposed to anything else!

CONTRADICTION TIME:
This being said however.....just because a person says they are saved or go to church doesn't mean they are, or that they are living right and will treat you properly. I know a guy who studies the bible and preys on women using the friendship good christian brother approach. You know the type that acts like he just wants to be your friend. He poses as a God fearing good christian man. Quotes scriptures out the bible and gives good advice.... Sound familiar. They get you to let your guards down get close then try to catch you at a vulnerable state and try to get in your pants! Ive seen this in women also!! Or the men and women who are at the club getting drunk and having sex with a new buddy after the club, then barely rolling out of bed sunday morning to get ready for their solo performance in the church choir! Or people like me, I was one of the ones that used to preach to a girl about getting closer to God and truly be sincere about it, yet at the end of the conversation I'm trying to pull her panties down! Yea i know right...The bible says... Matthew 7:15“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16“You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes nor figs from thistles, are they? 17“So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit".... So if they say they are christians that's fine but listen to their actions, watch the fruit that they bear. If they are good christians they will show it by their actions and the way they live their everyday life. So I'm speaking on taking chances with a partner who is a christian and bears good fruit!! This betters your odds of having a wonderful loving, and understanding relationship with your spouse!

As always, happy hunting



Tweet

Q and A'S
email your questions to thaloveguru@yahoo.com



Q:  anonymous

Ok...I have some questions for the love guru. I keep attracting my "type" fine, nice body, good job, own crib, etc but i have found that they work alot or in the gym alot...my response is.. you make time for what you want to make time for. I know they didn't get where they are career wise or physically without doing what they do. I have low patience and i require attention so i dismiss the n***** and keep it moving. My girls say i am too picky. I say I know what i want and won't settle. What do you think? Am I wrong? I just need a male's prospective, and you seem to have alot of good answers.


Another question... how can a woman weed out the bad from the good? How can an attractive woman tell if a n***** is looking for just a f*** or a relationship?


A:  tha love guru

Well its good that you are dating your "type" that means your on the right path. If a man is very successful business wise then depending on what type of business it is, it may very well be time consuming. If this is the case then you have to decide if this man is special enough for you to compromise some things. Before  you start in on me compromising is not settling. People who truly care for each other SHOULD be willing to compromise with each other to make things work. If you feel that he's worth it and judging by him having all these qualities you want in a man then you two should come together with some type of schedule. Yes i know i know, i like spontaneity just as much as the next cat but if his career is time consuming its imperative that you plan. BOTH OF YOU come up with what you mutually agree is  a "reasonable" amount of time to be spent a week. Set the schedule and FOLLOW IT! Now if he continuously fails to adhere, then RED FLAG!!

MENTAL NOTE: A man is not going to spend alot of time with someone he's not that interested in, and just wants to bang! (let it bang let it bang doo doo doo) sorry that's my song! lol

This brings up another issue. If he isn't that interested he's probably not going to tell you unless he has coconuts the size of that famous bulldog in AMERICAN PIE! So he's going to lie and make excuses i.e I was working late, then was in the gym all day!! hmmmmmm. The most important thing is to find out if his work and time at the gym is an excuse or is it genuine. If its an excuse then he's lying to you and he's not that interested so fire him!! If its not an excuse and he has those qualities its worth compromising if you BOTH are willing to put in a little more effort and work.

One last thing. In dealing with relationships, It is true that men can pretty much sum up what role you will play in our lives within the first 30 mins maybe less. However sometimes it takes longer.  We might think initially "oh she has potential but later down the line your actions show us that we should have ran out the door on the first date! Vice versa, we might think oh she is just  gonna be someone to sleep around with every now and again, then months down the line you captivated our hearts. 

To sum it up, don't come on to strong, if a man wants to make time he will, even if its not as much as you want, and you will compromise if  the both of you can agree and adhere to an amount of time a week to spend with each other that you can live with. If your just getting to know this guy give him a little time to get to know you to determine if he even wants to sacrifice time. No pressure...less is more!

As for your other question about weeding out the good from the bad. I actually wrote a post on just that coincidentally entitled how to weed out the bad men from the good check it out! I hope its helpful. Good luck with your future relationships!!!


Q: anonymous

Love guru, I have a man i have been with for  three months now. At first we were having sex all day everyday! It was great. Now its like i almost have to beg him to sleep with me! I don't see him as much as i used too. He said there is nothing wrong he's just tired or he's working more. What do you think is the problem? Do you think he's not attracted anymore, or he's cheating on me?

A: Tha Love Guru

Well i don't think it's necessarily that he's not attracted anymore. It depends on alot I really would like more information. Key point is how fast did you sleep with him? You know there is that initial NEW THRILL that men and women both get when having sex with someone new. Every here that expression "the thrill is gone!" well this is probably true. If you slept with him off the bat then you two really didn't give yourselves enough time to figure out what you really had in common with each other, other then the physical. So WHEN THE THRILL IS GONE chances are he is too! Your main focus when you meet a new guy should be to find out if he just wants the booty! Refer to my post how to weed out the bad men from the good 

Tweet

Foreplay!!

When you think of the word FOREPLAY, sex usually comes to mind. This would be a logical assumption considering most of the time we hear this word it usually is associated with sex.While this may be true there all all different types of foreplay. Most people think of foreplay as the time when your with a woman participating in physical contact. Foreplay is the actions you do to each other before penetration. Yea well ok that is accurate but foreplay can begin way before that. For example. It's been a busy week. You and your wife/husband haven't really had time to "get it in" due to schedules. However you both have friday planned out to be with each other after work. Foreplay can start that friday morning just by conversation about the wonderful evening the two of you are about to have later on. You might request for your wife to wear that one skirt that drives you wild or request your husband wears that tight fitted shirt that shows of his arms really well. There might be a favorite pair of panties or boxers you like to see your partner in. You are now creating visual stimulation on both parts. Both of you are picturing each other in the outfits you requested. This creates anticipation, sexual pressure build up. While you both are at work you might send a picture message showing off random sexy body parts to each other. Or ask your partner to go to the bathroom at work and take a picture in there panties or boxers. More visual stimulation which is important especially with guys. Girls as well. It doesn't have to be a picture at all. It can be a kind word. "I can't wait to get you in my arms later!" Let them know that you are counting down the hours,minutes!I used to date a girl who would get turned on when i did house work!! SERIOUSLY...If i washed the dishes and took out the trash before she got home. It was ON as soon as she came through the door!

OK work is over and your headed to the house to freshen up. This is important. If you haven't already check out my post on "The physical" Gives good advice on hygiene and getting ready to go out. Pretty much make sure your looking good smelling good. So you meet up with your husband/wife where ever you guys planned. A nice long sensual hug is a good idea. Remember foreplay started since the breakfast table. You have pictured what your partner was going to wear all day and now you finally see them in their sexy outfit. Kinda like a good daydream coming true. You know what panties/boxers they are wearing underneath. All this makes that hug much more sensual and romantic. This whole date is about touching and mental stimulation. Touch each other often. Hold hands, put your arms around each other. Sweet kisses on the temple and cheeks. If your at dinner don't sit across from each other. Sit next to each other. More sweet kisses, play footsy under the table. Caress each other under the table. Make a game of it. Try not to get caught by the waiter! This is all anticipation build up. If your at the movies, put your arm around her. Let her rest her head on your shoulders. Ladies rest your hand on his upper inner thigh. Ever so close to his man hood but not quite. Or fellas rest your hands in between her legs. Let her keep them warm. If your adventurous then massage each other without making it obvious to others. Make a game out of that. Make is hard for either one of you to pay attention to the movie. At this point both of you should be thinking WHEN IS THIS MOVIE GOING TO BE OVER! Now this is just an example. The "traditional date" However we all know a date can be anywhere doing anything just improvise. Remember to be romantic,sensual and touchy feely! No arguments tonight! If you got beef about something save it for the next day. Let nothing ruin your good night!

OK so you managed to get through the date without having to go to jail for public sex! lol Your in the car and your on your way home. NOW...i don't think there is anything wrong with a husband and wife having oral sex so if your on that car ride home and you want to indulge then by all means this is great foreplay! Now note: its easier for a girl to give oral to a guy while he drives then for a guy to give it to a girl for obvious reasons. I just recommend that you be safe and use extreme caution. You don't want to be a hazard to other drivers. This is sure to have you kicking the front door down racing to the bedroom as soon as you pull in the driveway. Now if your not that adventurous that's fine. Holding hands and caressing body parts will work as well.

Alright you've made it through the date without exploding with sexual pressure build up. Now its time to reward each other for it! Most of you might already know this. I know there are a lot of sexually experienced people in this world. However i will explain anyway just in case you don't. MEN: We get hot instantly. A quick hug is all we need to get our motors running! Sometimes not even that! My point is we get hot very quickly and are ready to go. However just as fast as we are ready MOST men finish fairly quickly as well. Women: They are the opposite. Now there is always exceptions to the rule but generally it take women longer to get warmed up, and when they are it takes longer for them to cool down unlike men.Fellas please remember this. Now if you followed my advice as far as foreplay on a date and your just getting back home, the woman should be already on her way to being warmed up! The man i already know has been ready since the beginning of the date! lol However fellas lets not assume! The easiest way to tell if a woman is ready to "connect" is to determine if her valley is flowing or not. If her valley is dry then you need to put in more work before you start trying to "get it in" This is very important! A lot of men make the mistake of kissing their wife for a few seconds then undressing them then penetration! Again remember women don't warm up that fast. Even if they want to sleep with you, you have to get them warmed up!

TIP 1: The hotter you get your woman before penetration, the less amount of time and work you have to put in to get her to the "big o"

Guys don't understand that they are causing themselves more problems and work. Let's be honest, women usually last longer then men do. I'm sorry fellas its true. Now of course this doesn't apply to all men (like myself) ;) but it holds true for alot. Now some guys are just selfish. If your a selfish lover then your wife probably is not satisfied sexually. Hence your probably not getting it as much.With sex its all about the woman! You want to make sure that your woman is satisfied. Let's face it fellas we can prob get off from a hole in the wall so as soon as we penetrate we are feeling good and will be satisfied. So lets work towards making the woman finish before we do! So again make sure your woman is hot,ready,and her valley is flowing before you do the horizontal mambo! Now a free flowing valley is enough to give you the green light however if you really want to drive your woman crazy hold out on penetration until she begs for it! Continue kissing,fondling,grinding what ever your doing until she

A: is constantly reaching for it trying to navigate it in herself or

B: is literally begging for it! (baby please just give it to me)

I promise you if you take your time and go above and beyond with the foreplay to the point she's reaching for it and begging for it, I guarantee by time you do give her what she's reaching for, she will already be half way at the "big o" as soon as you start. Again this means less work and time you have to put in before she reaches climax. This is extremely helpful for many reasons. Including for those who don't have the best stamina or have problems with pre ejaculation! Now for the ladies, again women it doesn't take much to get us going. That being said us men do have hot spots as well. So many times women neglect to make effort to find out and utilize a man's hot spots. Just as you women have those certain spots that when kissed,licked,rubbed,blown on etc drive you nuts, we do too!!! Take the time to find out ours and watch your man go wild! Men are visual creatures. Lingerie or just sexy panties and bras do alot for a man. Please keep that in mind. I always say a woman can never own to many pair of panties and bras! It's less attractive if your husband keeps seeing you in the same few pair of lint ball filled panties! Switch it up! If you and your spouse have a long night or day in bed ahead of you, ladies change it up. After round one, go to the bathroom and freshen up a bit. Come out with a whole new pair of panties and bra. It is almost as the man is sleeping with a fresh new woman and is def a turn on!

ORAL SEX

Oral sex is great for foreplay but to do it right you have to know your partner. Now I'm not going to give you a step by step guide on how to perform this act. Maybe in a later post but I'm simply talking about orgasm. Is your partner multi orgasmic or is it one shot and i need a nap? This goes for men and women as men can be multi orgasmic as well.(like myself) The reason this is important is simple. If your wife is the type that when she has the "big o" shes ready to quit and take a nap then as far as foreplay is concerned, its ok to give her oral but don't let her peak! If she does then she's ready for a break before you even penetrate. Same goes with guys. Now if your partner is multi orgasmic then its ok to let them get one in, but when they do climax, make sure you get them on the brink of the second orgasm before you penetrate for the first time.Ladies i don't recommend you letting your husband climax before he penetrates. Even if he's multi orgasmic. You want him at his best!

Tip 2: If you perform oral on your spouse, get them on the brink of climax then stop the sensation so it dies down some then bring them to the brink again and let it die down again, if you repeat this 2 to 3 times, by time you do let them climax, the orgasm will be much stronger and intense then it would be if you just let them climax as soon as they feel the need.

To sum it up...i do believe in quickies. Certain situations and time restraints call for just that. However if you have time to make love to your spouse, its best to do it the right way and to def incorporate foreplay. This makes for a more enjoyable experience with your spouse. Which will bring new memories and you closer to your spouse as you worship God in the very act he created for husband and wife to bond with each other chemically and spiritually as well as to beautify the earth!

Tweet