How to weed out the bad men from the good!

This post is for women who are ready and only looking to settle down with a good man. That being said, WOMEN you have to also be ready and must be the quality that you expect your man to be!! You also have to know yourself and who you are to possibly know what type of man is RIGHT for you! When i was a teenager i had no clue of who i was and what type of women is compatible to my personality. It took years later and a lot of experimenting with different women and personalities including a horrible three year relationship to help me discover myself and the type of women that is compatible with me. With this imperative information, it is that much easier for me to target the good from the bad. Now the bad might not necessarily be bad for all but just not a good match for me. Everyone is different. So to the women who haven't found themselves or don't have a firm grasp on what they want in a man, i suggest you keep living life dating and experimenting to find yourself and what you like need and don't need in a man before you truly start searching for that one!

OK so to the ones that feel they know what they want and they are ready for that one, here is a little advice to help you sift through the dirt to find that gold! BEWARE OF WOLVES IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING! I evaluate my prospects by red flags. If your just starting out with someone and you get a whole lot of red flags at the beginning, then its probably in your best interest to not pursue the relationship! What are red flags you ask? Anything that comes up in a relationship as it pertains to your partner that is con not a pro, a negative, something that makes you question or is not a desirable trait or situation. For instance your guy never answers his phone after a certain time on any day. RED FLAG ! Get it? OK ...so lets proceed. As we all know men and women are usually at there best  behavior at the beginning of a relationship. This makes it harder to figure out the true nature of that person or any hidden agenda's. Fellas, I'm sorry to say this but ladies, depending on the guy most of the time guys are "couchie motivated" we see something pleasing to the eye we immediately think "damn i wanna hit that, let me try and get her number! Our main goal is to sleep with you! DISCLAIMER: this does not pertain to all men. It depends on who the man is and where his mind state is at at that point of his life. Some men like me are looking for there wife, but when we find her it will still initially be sexually motivated!! So ladies the biggest thing you have to do is weed out the guys who just want to sleep with you. This can be fairly easy depending on how bad this guy wants to get in your pants!! Men analyze women quickly we will know what role you will play in our life the first time we meet you. For example. Let's say i have extremely good taste in women. My past girlfriends can pass for models. This is my preferred type! And lets say i have a high sex drive and obviously love sex as well. I'm in the gym working out. There is this woman on the tread mill in front of me in nice tight black leggins. Her body is bangin and jiggling everywhere in all the right places. I'm turned on..she finally gets off the tread mill and turns around..BAM she got a "butter face" that means everything fine "but her face" but she's giving me the eye really hard so i know she wants me and this would be an easy lay. As a man I've already came to the conclusion that i want to sleep with her because I'm sexually attracted to her body and plus it would be an easy score  because she was starring all at me. I've also came to the conclusion that she's not wifee or girlfriend material because to my standards her face isn't pretty enough, but to another guy he mind think she fine! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However this beholder doesn't think she hot just her body. My point is now I'm about to approach her and run mad game, what ever i think i have to say or would work just so i can get in her pants! She might really dig me, end up giving me some and getting her feelings hurt in the long run. Ladies I'm trying to prevent you from going through this by determining a man's true agenda before you give your heart and your body away.
OK first things first..WOMEN are attracted by words. This is why they melt when a man writes poetry or says really sweet things to his girl, love notes etc so words are powerful. There are alot of guys out here with alot of game. Don't get caught up with words. Words a man tells you shouldn't hold an ounce of worth unless its backed up by action! If this guy says he cares so much then his actions damn sure better be showing it! If they don't then don't believe it! A guy who just wants to sleep with you won't want to spend money on you! Unless he's a baller and a dinner and a movie ain't nothing which it really isn't but if i know your just a "good time" for me I'm tryna go str8t to your place or have you come back to mine! I'm not tryna spend money, I'm not tryna be really seen with you like that. If your prospect just wants you to come over or vice versa no dinner no movie RED FLAG.  If the guy does take you out to dinner and a movie that don't mean he passed its OK to give it to him! Make him wait! That's the simplest yet hardest test to do! A man is NOT going to consistently spend time and money on a girl that he just wants to sleep with. TIME is the secret in telling a mans true intentions. I know it may be hard. I know there are alot of women that's hot under the collar now adays! lol But i promise you i never spent continuous time or money on a girl i only wanted to sleep with...ever! Let that man court you and take you out and spend quality time together without sleeping together for an extended period of time. Is he still the same man he was at the beginning or has his attitude changed. Is he just as attentive as he was at the beginning or does he spend less time with you together or less time talking to you on the phone. Is he going out with others "friends" more? Evaluate that, if he is the same man at the beginning as he is several months later with no actions chances are you have a possible good one on your hands but don't have false security in this because men can and do also change after they do "get it" Sometimes for the better sometimes for the worst. This is just a step in the right direction. There is still alot more to be cautious about. I will go in further detail in another post. Happy hunting for now!
The love Guru

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This thing called sex!!

It is no question that SEX is one of the most important components of a relationship! It is also one of the main reasons couples divorce. When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, SEX is very important. HOWEVER sex can also be very destructive to a relationship. I promote abstinence until marriage the way God wanted it to be. I do understand that that's not always the case. The flesh is weak and we battle with it everyday. For those that do have pre marital sex just understand the effects and consequences! Great sex to soon in a new relationship can cloud your ability to properly judge and analyse the true chemistry and connection you really have with each other. Great sex does cloud your judgement when its had early on in a new relationship. We tend to overlook  flaws or conflicts of interest that normally would be an issue with us because the sex makes up for everything. The problem is no matter how great the sexual chemistry is at the beginning it all dies down. Now I'm not saying that sex is inevitably going to get worse as a relationship progresses. I'm simply saying that the original thrill of great sex with a new partner doesn't stay new for long. You get into that "used to it stage" When the thrill is gone then that's when you start noticing all those annoying flaws that you would have noticed if you weren't playing naked twister all day! Get to know someone for them and not their skills in the bedroom first. You can really get to know a person if you take time to spend quality time. Not just dinner then back to my place. If you find that the chemistry is crazy and your actually compatible just by spending time and hanging out with no sex, the sex later on down the line is just going to enhance an already beautiful start! According to the bible we are supposed to practice abstinence until we are married. Women were designed to attract men as men attract women. And its natural to have sexual desires. The bible says "it is better to marry then to burn with passion" 1 Corinthians 7:9. So sexual desire is supposed to encourage marriage! Every time you sleep with a man/woman, you create a soul tie. A physical,chemical,and spiritual bond between you and your mate.We aren't supposed to BOND with everyone we are attracted to. Only our spouse.  The more we do this the harder it is for us to form a genuine meaningful relationship with people. This has been studied. I will elaborate on this subject on a future post.Bottom line is, YES sex is very important but whats more important is knowing you have a real connection with someone your feeling so that when the newness of sex with a new partner dies down, you already have a strong foundation that keeps your relationship going. Without that then your relationship falls apart. Sex only masked the would be obvious flaws, and lack of true connection hence wasting time and energy.Creating a new physical,spiritual, and chemical bond with someone you won't see again. We need to think about the long run when it comes to sex. What is your main goal? Do you just want some booty or are you looking for someone that you can spend the rest of your life with? We need to know what we truly want and should always practice abstinence. Especially if we have no self control over our passion/lust. If its too much to bear then find a wife or a husband! Then you can get it in as much as your hearts desire, and will be smiled down upon by God as sex with your spouse is a form of worship to God. It is a very good thing when its done in the proper circumstances! As always happy hunting!
The Love Guru

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The Cat and Mouse!!!

Ever here a guy/girl say " i want someone that doesn't play games" LIARS!!! LOL OK well that might be taking it over board because alot of people feel they really mean what they say. I don't care whether man or woman, we all love a challenge! Become the prefect man/woman to your mate and i guarantee they will get bored, and start acting up! WHY is this we ask? We all love a challenge. I don't care if you meet your dream girl. Let her come on to you strong and be all over you and available all the time and always blowing you up trying to spend every waking moment with you....yea yea i know what your saying hell naw i wouldn't act up i wouldn't go anywhere. Well it sounds good and is good at first but after a while that woman looses her value real quick. There is no challenge to her. You feel as you conquered her. You feel that she is so into you that you got her on lock then you take her for granted. That's when trouble starts. But you catch yourself soon enough stop being available all the time. Stop blowing up there phone. Don't answer a call or two when they call you. Call back a few hours and say "hey I'm sorry i got a little tied up, how are you" See how quickly roles reverse. This is nothing new. Its the old cat and the mouse game! I don't care who you are, we all play it. Rather we are the cat or the mouse and it goes for both men and women. RULE OF THUMB: never smother your partner! Its almost never good to make your partner feel smothered by you! Except for those few circumstances where people actually love being smothered with attention. (This usually stems from deeper issues with that person) Allow a certain amount of space for each other. This way it gives both you room to breathe and miss each other. Your mate can't call you and say "hey i been thinking about you, i miss you" if your up there butt blown up there phone or texting them 24/7. Good communication is key but know the difference between that and invading comfortable space. The less crowding you are and more mysterious you are , the more intrigued your mate is! To REALLY generalize it....LESS IS MORE! 
As always, happy hunting!

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The proto-type

There are all different types of people in this world. It is our job to experience as many people and personalities as we can. Depending on what stage of life we are in we might not even know who we are. The longest relationship i was in to date was 3 yrs. I've only been in true love once! I cheated! Yes i know i know but i was young and dumb! I was heart broken for two yrs until i met the woman i mentioned previously. Physically she was gorgeous! Everything i could ever hope for in a woman. At that time i was just getting to know who i am, and i never really knew what my proto-type of a woman was. The problem was that me and this woman were identical. We where both attractive, cocky, full of ourselves. We both were used to alot of attention from the opposite sex. Both stubborn bull headed, had to have our way! Yes this was a nightmare. From the first phone conversation we had, we argued! And everyday of our lives for three years straight we argued and fought. Absolutely the worst relationship i ever had! That being said i wouldn't change a thing about that period in my life. It taught me so much about who i am and what type of woman i need for me to be happy! It was a bitter sweet learning experience! We all need to find out who we are and what we need as opposed to what we want!

This brings us to our proto-type! Once you have a pretty good grasp on who you are and the type of women that's right for you, STICK TO THE SCRIPT! Don't waste time dating someone who you know you have no future with. For example if your looking to get married and the man/woman your talking to says that marriage is the furthest thing from there mind, then its probably a waste of time dating her. If you want kids and the person your dating doesn't, move around! Don't waste time entertaining that relationship just because he/she is attractive and you want to get some! Anything can happen. You sleep with him/her you get her pregnant or you become pregnant with someone that your not compatible with. Now you have a baby momma/daddy and a misc kid out there. PLEASE learn from my mistakes. Don't wast your time. Only focus on your PROTO-TYPE! Only date those who make your check list! Example physical attraction..check wonderful personality..check   no kids...check   good job, own place check and check. Christian God fearing check. Wants to eventually get married check! Now this is just an example. Your list can be what ever it is you want. The point is don't waste time with those who don't meet the criteria. If you only date your PROTO-TYPES  your chances are far greater finding what you really need in a mate and detour's you from other distractions that may keep you from God's blessings! Happy hunting!

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The emotional

Women are emotional creatures. I don't think anyone would dare disagree with that! This being so, to be successful in the hunt you have to play on there emotions.Women love to be made to feel good about themselves from a man so complimenting is very important! SO...you see the apple of your eye across the room, you got them pheromones pumping and your swag is fly because of your proper hygiene and sharp attire. Your ready to make your move. What do you do? What do you say? At this point no time to take risk, have an opening line prepared. Now I'm not saying those cheezy come ons! That's sure to get you rejected fast! The best lines are the ones that don't sound like one! The ones that flow and seem natural.For instance " excuse me, i don't mean to interrupt you but i noticed you, and wanted to introduce myself. My name is x what's yours? Simple, doesn't sound like a cheezy come on. Honest direct to the point. Your asking her a question that demands response, interaction. Don't go for the kill (asking for the number) right away. Conversation is great! Words move a woman just as deep if not deeper as physical appearance. Keep the convo going. MAKE HER LAUGH! My momz used to say " you can laugh a girls panties right off her" lol. I'm not suggesting you do this for this purpose however! If you can keep that woman laughing, the battle is half won! So she's laughing she's talking back to you. She doesn't have that "please just go away look on her face" Its time to do one of two things. If sparks are really flying and you can def tell she's into you, DON'T LEAVE! Buy her a drink, buy yourself another and spend the rest of the night with her until she's ready for you to go! Dates that go that way make couples and babies really fast! The key is to be confident, like you do this all the time. Kool, show your interested but not desperate. Never make it seem like she's out of your league. Now its time to get the digits! Don't ask for the number demand it. Put it in the way were she feels she has no choice. Something like this " Look i could talk to you for hours but i don't want to keep you (pull out your phone) what's your number so i can text you some time. Your easy to talk too!" It's harder to say no if you do it this way, but that doesn't mean they won't! If they say ...no give me yours don't go out without a fight. Something like " come on now we need to do this the right way. How about we both exchange numbers, that way the option is in both of our hands to communicate! I believe in taking control of my destiny!" Watch em melt! If they don't...ahh for get it, on to the next one. You tried! That's one thing you have to remember. Never take it personal. Its a numbers game. The more women you talk too, the better chances of getting yes's! Your shy and barely approach a woman, then when you do, she turns you down and you wait even longer for the next one. You'll never get anyone like that. Move on the next one that catches your eye like that. Not just any and everything! I assure you if you follow all these steps your sure to line up an impressive roster. I promote marriage and monogamy. I also feel that you have to date multiple people at the same time to get to know what you like and don't like. Who do you have more chemistry with. Who are you more compatible with? Follow these three key points and you are well on your way to finding your spouse! As always, happy hunting!

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The physical!!

There were numerous studies done to determine how long it takes for us humans to determine if we find someone attractive or not after seeing them for the first time. The answer they came up with is 3 SECONDS! Yep, that's it! A three second glance will give are conquest all they need to determine if they find us physically attractive. What does that mean to us? WE GOTTA GET IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME! So...lets start with hygiene. This is SO IMPORTANT. If your going out "fishing" make sure you have the proper bait. Start with A SHOWER! Some may think its common sense, but you will be surprised at how many people get this wrong. Just because you shower in the morning doesn't mean you can party in the club that same night with out freshening up! Make sure you take a FRESH shower before you go fishing for that mate. A good clean scented deodorant, and yes of course a nice fresh cologne. I never met a woman that didn't like a good smelling man! THIS IS KEY! Although some women are allergic to cologne. This we cannot perceive ahead of time so are hands are tied with these women at first. Major rule of thumb with cologne...LESS IS MORE! Don't drown yourself in it where everyone can smell you coming a mile away!

Next...women love a CLEAN SHAVING MAN! Please keep your nails clean and manageable, your hair cut, and shaved. No matter the hairstyle. If your rockin braids make sure they are done on the regular. Its not hot approaching a girl and you got the fuzzies! If your rockin a fro, natural keep it shaped and trimmed. Keep a fresh lining. If your of caucasian persuasion, same applies. Keep it cut trimmed. If mousse is your thing then mousse it out, spike it, what ever the fashion is own it! A clean shaved face is always hot. If your going for the 5 o clock rough around the edges look that's fine, but keep your scruffy beard even. keep it lined up so its not crawling down your neck.

Also CLOTHING! Ever hear the term "funky fresh dressed to impress ready to party"? Women LOVE a well dressed man. You can be fat with crazy swag based off your dress and proper hygiene. If your not fashionable consult a woman. Most male clothing stores i know have women sales persons, for good reason too! Ask them for help. They will keep you from embarrassment! This includes nice shoes! Women always look down at a mans feet. You would be surprised at how many women say they judge a guy solely by the shoes he has on. Are your shoes clean, old, busted? This is also very important!!

Finally ACCESSORIZE! Women love shiny things. A nice watch and a ring has never been to much. For the more fashionistic throw in a bracelet and a chain but don't over do it. Nothing to gaudy or flashy. Nothing to big unless your a pimp on the west side of chicago trying to recruit new horses for your track! Or your looking to attract gold diggers and video vixens! Again rule of thumb..LESS IS MORE! If you can adhere to these simple tips, this should get you more looks and further on your way in the right direction.

Stay tuned for my next post dealing with attracting the opposite sex using the emotional!! As always happy hunting!

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Chemistry is just that......Chemistry!!!

You ever meet a guy/girl for the first time and you get butterflies in your stomach. Your heart starts to beat faster. Your breath gets heavy? That's chemistry. Yes it has alot to do with what the eye sees, but its also chemical.

Pheromones are a naturally occurring chemical compound found in all insects, animals, and humans. When pheromones are secreted they dictate sexual behavior and attract the opposite sex. Pheromone is Greek from the word Pheran-to transfer and Horman- to excite. Pheromones are found throughout the living world and are the most ancient form of animal communication.

Pheromones are natural scents, which play an important role in sexual communication. Animals and humans release masses of biological chemicals in tears, saliva and perspiration. These aromas convey signals relating to mood, status, drive and health to the subconscious awareness of the female. The dominant male will exude more of these biological attractants than his submissive counterpart, consequently he inevitably attracts more females and enjoys more conquests.

So you see alot is involved when it comes to attracting the opposite sex. Now if you see what appears to be the love of your life and the pheromones aren't kicking in on her end but yours are in full swing..there are a few things that have nothing to do with chemistry that you can do to help assist you in attracting your mate! This is broken down into three groups...the physical, the emotional, and  the subconscious, which i will elaborate on in a later post. Good hunting for now!

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